The Disgraceful Mr. Ravenhurst Page 24

  Theo took one long step and caught her hands in his. ‘For how long? Your hands are cold.’

  ‘I’m not certain, I must have nodded off.’

  ‘Why couldn’t you sleep?’

  Why couldn’t he? she wondered. There was no book beside the chair, no papers. He must have simply been sitting there. ‘I was thinking about what I am going to do next.’

  ‘You are going to Aunt Louisa in Avignon.’ If he had added good riddance, his tone could not have been any colder, even while his hands warmed hers.

  ‘No, I am not. I have been thinking. I want to travel. I have my own money, enough to be independent, very independent. I wonder at myself for never seeing it before. I shall find myself a congenial companion and see Italy, Greece, more of France. But while I am making up my mind who to travel with, I will be staying here. They need an archivist and I am suitably qualified.’

  ‘Travel be damned.’ Theo let go of her hands and took an angry pace away. ‘Eva is matchmaking. She’ll have you married off to that milksop librarian in a month, wait and see.’

  ‘Phillip is not a milksop,’ Elinor retorted. Even as she spoke she wondered if he was correct. Was Eva matchmaking? ‘He is a pleasant and very intellectual young man. There is no need to sneer at him because he does not go racketing about the country, almost getting himself and everyone else killed in the process.’

  ‘So you blame me for that after all, do you? I cannot recall inviting you to explore dungeons with me or rush up to my bedchamber brandishing a pistol you cannot use.’

  ‘You were grateful at the time, damn you. And if I hadn’t been with you in that dungeon, you might be dead now.’ She was too angry with him for tears, although she could feel them hot and furious, stinging her eyes.

  Theo looked to be in a towering, inexplicable, rage and suddenly she saw why. ‘Theo—are you jealous?’ He turned away, giving her his back, and reached for the decanter.

  ‘Why the hell should I be jealous of that youth?’

  ‘I do not know, that is what is puzzling me,’ Elinor confessed, her own anger ebbing away as she stared at the uncommunicative set of his shoulders. ‘If you are pouring wine, I will have a glass.’

  He set it down with a snap and walked away from her. When he turned, she saw that strange darkness was in his eyes again and his voice was flat. ‘I do not understand why, if you want to travel, you will not do it with me, but need to find a stranger. Why, if you need a man, you do not take me. Is he so much more intelligent, is that it? Am I not up to your lofty intellectual heights?’

  He was making no sense at all. Elinor stared, then took a deep swallow of wine and sat down. ‘I do not want Phillip Finchingfield. He is a nice young man, with the emphasis on young. Eva is not matchmaking, she is amusing herself.’ She had to work this out as she went along, and her own emotions were so tangled they were not helping one whit.

  ‘How can I travel with you without marrying you? And I have told you why I will not do that. I cannot marry a man who does not love me.’

  Theo was staring at her from across the room. Then, very slowly, he sat down on the edge of the bed as though standing was no longer an option. ‘You would marry me if I loved you?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’ Too late she saw where this had led her: virtually into a confession of her true feelings for him.

  ‘But I told you I did. I told you I loved you that morning after we made love all night. But you hushed me, misunderstood me to mean that I loved you as a friend and made it very clear you did not love me.’

  ‘You meant you really want to marry me?’ This couldn’t be true, surely? Something this wonderful simply could not be happening.

  ‘I do. I want to marry you even if you don’t love me. Elinor…’ Somehow he was on his knees beside her chair, her hands in his. ‘Nell, I love you and I want you and I will do everything in my power to make you happy. I know you like our lovemaking, that we have fun together. That’s a start, isn’t it—if I can convince you I love you, you will marry me?’

  ‘I believe you.’ And she did. That shadow had gone from his eyes—this was Theo looking deep into her soul, Theo, his pulse thudding hard against her fingers. ‘And I love you.’

  He sat back on his heels and closed his eyes. ‘For two intelligent people, we very nearly got this completely wrong, didn’t we?’

  ‘It isn’t a language I am used to,’ she confessed, freeing one hand so she could reach forwards and touch his face. ‘I have no understanding of the grammar, or the vocabulary. We must learn it together.’ He turned his cheek into her palm and smiled, opening his eyes so his lashes tickled the sensitive skin.

  ‘What, the language of emotions? I think something almost got lost in translation. Let me try in English. Nell, I love you. I don’t know how long I loved you, because I’ve never been in love and I didn’t realise why I felt like I did, but I realised when we were on that hilltop overlooking the chateau. When I said I would never marry, it was because I believed I could not have you, not because of any other woman. I want to marry you and live with you and have children with you.’

  ‘And we will travel together?’ It was very difficult to speak with her heart so full, but somehow she managed it, her hand stroking the strong lines of the face she had once thought was only passably handsome. ‘I am not being left at home, children or no children.’

  ‘Nell, I thought I couldn’t have you, that I’d lost you—how could I contemplate ever leaving you behind? I will place the orders for our caravan of carriages at once—I was drawing it, too, so I have both sets.’

  ‘So that is where my sketches went. Theo, I have been looking everywhere for those. I was the woman in all of the pictures, you see.’

  ‘Oh, Nell.’ He gathered her in against his heart and rocked her gently. His body felt hard and safe and yet so gentle. ‘When can we get married?’

  ‘I don’t…’ She managed to twist round so she could look up into his face. ‘Will your family want a big wedding? Uncle Augustus will want to marry us, won’t he? In the cathedral.’ Her heart sank. It would all take months.

  ‘That will take too much time, I want to get started on that family immediately.’ Theo stood up, bringing her up with him. ‘Sit on the bed, Nell, I can’t think while I’m holding you.’ He paced across the room, then flipped open a map and stared down at it. ‘I’ve got to take that damn Chalice back to England. I’ll leave tomorrow. You get Eva to send you down to Avignon with a maid and some outriders. Break the news to Aunt Louisa and interview the English vicar down there—there’s sure to be an Anglican church. I’ll come right back. In a month we’ll be wed, no longer, I promise you.’ He paused, frowning. ‘You know, I can’t help but wonder if she meant this to happen. She’s been mighty careless about throwing us together.’

  ‘Theo.’

  ‘Yes, my love?’ He looked up at her, his hands flat either side of the map.

  ‘Am I dreaming?’

  ‘Not unless I’m having the same dream, too. Nell, I’ve never had anyone to share emotions with. Ideas, yes, fun, yes. But not feelings, not the deep ones. And I don’t think you have either. We nearly got this wrong because we tried to protect ourselves against being hurt, took what the other said literally, without listening to the truth underneath. I’m going to try very hard not to do that any more.’

  ‘Mmm. I think we should say what we think and what we feel, honestly. Don’t you?’ He nodded. ‘Good, I am glad you agree, because what I want most of all, now, is to go to bed with you and for you not to have to be careful, just to make me yours.’

  Theo just looked at her, his eyes hooded, as though his own desires were banked down behind the heavy lids. ‘Are you certain? You don’t want to wait until our wedding night?’

  ‘No, but if you do—’

  Suddenly Theo grinned, the first broad smile she had seen for what seemed like days. ‘Nell, we can sit here all night being carefully polite over this or I can do what I have been wanting to do ever since I k
nelt on that river bank, plaiting your hair.’

  ‘Really? Oh, I knew I felt something, sensed something, even then.’ He came and caught her in his arms and it felt right, here in their lonely eyrie, high on the battlements of the great castle.

  ‘In my fantasies I didn’t dream I’d be undoing this frightful garment,’ Theo observed. ‘There go the buttons, never mind, you won’t be needing it again.’ The old gown slid from his hands and he stopped talking, his mouth curving into an incredulous smile. ‘Nell Ravenhurst, you bad girl—not a stitch on under your gown!’

  It was impossible to feel shy in the face of his obvious delight. ‘I was in a hurry, I wanted to be near you,’ she murmured, reaching for his shirt. ‘And now I want to be nearer still.’

  She had thought she knew what to expect and the thrill of his caresses and the fire in his kisses was the same, yet deeper, more intense. But her heart was pounding and something inside her made her breath come fast as she clung to his shoulders while his mouth roamed over her hot skin.

  ‘Are you frightened?’ He looked up and she wondered what he had seen in her expression.

  ‘Yes. A little,’ she admitted. ‘I know it will hurt, it isn’t that, it is just…’

  ‘Just such a big step? I know, my love, I’ll be as slow as I can.’

  ‘No,’ Elinor protested, ‘not slow. Theo, love me now.’

  His weight as he came over her was wonderful, powerful, yet he took such care to lift it from her. She ran her hands over his biceps, feeling the muscles taut as they took his weight on his elbows. Her legs parted to cradle him and she sighed at how perfectly they seemed to fit together, how open her body was to him as he moved against her, slowly nudging while her untutored body began to open for him, his eyes holding hers, a smile in them that promised so much, promised his love.

  It did not seem possible that he really could fit, she thought hazily, trying to think of nothing but those eyes, that love, while her body struggled against itself to tense up and deny him. ‘Theo, I don’t think—’

  ‘Exactly,’ he murmured. ‘For once in your life, don’t think, Nell, just trust me, let me in.’ He shifted his position slightly, his hand slipping between them to touch the aching core of her and she sobbed, arched to meet the sweetly familiar torment and he surged strongly into her, carrying away the sudden stab of pain with the intensity of it.

  ‘I love you,’ she managed to gasp before all she could do was to surrender to the rhythm he was setting, carrying her with him, making her cry out, over and over as he moved within her, filling her perfectly, perfectly at one with her.

  ‘Now, Nell,’ he gasped and she opened her eyes on to his intent face, on to the eyes that held her soul. ‘Come with me, Nell.’ And she was. The twisting, surging pleasure he had taught her was there, all wrapped up in something bigger, more intense, something that was the essence of the two of them, together.

  ‘Theo!’ She thought she screamed his name, heard his shout, and then there were colours and pleasure she could never have imagined and finally soft, sweet blackness and the feel of his arms holding her safe, bringing her back into harbour after the storm.

  ‘I love you so much,’ Theo murmured into her hair.

  Unable to speak, she burrowed up against his chest until she could take his face in her hands and see the brightness of tears in his eyes and press her lips against the strong line of his jaw. ‘Always,’ she managed. ‘Always.’

  ‘Madame.’ Eva’s dresser came back from answering the tap on the door. ‘Madame, that was Annette. She says Mademoiselle Ravenhurst’s bed has not been slept in.’

  The Grand Duchess fastened one perfect diamond eardrop and turned her head to check her reflection in the mirror before answering. ‘Well, thank heavens for that,’ she said with a touch of complacency. ‘Please ensure that Monsieur Ravenhurst is not disturbed before dinner time.’

  Afterword

  Neglected throughout the eighteenth-century, the basilica at Vezelay slipped into near dereliction during the Revolution. By the time Theo and Elinor visited it was very dilapidated, and in 1819 the principle bell tower was consumed by fire. In 1834 Prosper Mérimée, French Inspector of Historic Monuments, saw it and was appalled. But he could find no one willing to take on such a colossal work. Finally, an unknown architect, 26-year-old Eugène Viollet-le-Duc, accepted the commission and in less than twenty years rescued this wonderful building. In 1979 the church where St Bernard preached the First Crusade was declared a UNESCO World Heritage site.

  The verse from Petrach is from Sonnet 28, To Laura in Life, translated in 1795 by an unknown poet.

  Dear Reader,

  In the course of their courtship Ashe Reynard informed Belinda Felsham (The Outrageous Lady Felsham) that she should stop matchmaking for her bluestocking cousin Elinor because what Elinor needed was an intellectual, someone who could match her intelligence.

  The problem was, where could Elinor, firmly on the shelf, find such a man? One who would see past the drab gowns and meek studiousness to the warm, loving, adventurous woman inside? Especially when she was convinced she did not want a man at all.

  And then there was Theo Ravenhurst, in disgrace and, so his mother kept insisting, off on the Grand Tour. Only I had my suspicions that Theo was not pursuing a blameless course around the cultural sights of Europe but was up to something altogether less conventional. What would happen if these two cousins met, I wondered?

  I hope you enjoy finding out and, if you have read the first three Ravenhurst novels, meeting again Eva and Sebastian, young Freddie and the indomitable Lady James.

  Coming next will be The Notorious Mr Hurst. Lady Maude Templeton, having escaped marriage to Ravenhurst cousin Gareth Morant (The Shocking Lord Standon) has already fallen for the entirely inappropriate attractions of theatre owner Eden Hurst. She knows what she wants, and is not used to being thwarted, but this time it looks as though everyone, from Society to the gentleman himself, is set on her not getting her heart’s desire.

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-3583-4

  THE DISGRACEFUL MR. RAVENHURST

  Copyright © 2009 by Melanie Hilton

  First North American Publication 2009

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

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  *Those Scandalous Ravenhursts

  *Those Scandalous Ravenhursts

  *Those Scandalous Ravenhursts

  *Those Scandalous Ravenhursts

  *Those Scandalous Ravenhursts