The Disgraceful Mr. Ravenhurst Read online

  ‘You, Nell, are a hussy. Don’t you want your breakfast?’

  ‘No.’ She had learned not to handle him as though he was breakable. In fact, Theo thought, abandoning himself to her wicked exploration, she learned everything, very fast. And if he didn’t do something, now this moment, it was all going to be over very fast, too.

  ‘Nell, slowly. Oh, my God…’

  Elinor curled up at the foot of the crumpled bed and ate toast, heedless of the crumbs. Theo, up at the pillow end, had wedged steak between two halves of a large roll and was demolishing it, wolf-like. It had been his idea, this decadent picnic breakfast when she had declared herself too indolent to get out of bed.

  ‘We’ve got a longish drive ahead of us, we will eat in bed and then you must get up’ he had said firmly, ringing the bell despite her protests. ‘What? They think we are married, stop blushing.’

  But she hadn’t really been blushing, she rather thought she had lost the capacity to, all in one intense night of pleasure. Of course, there was that one thing still not experienced, Theo had not taken her, claimed her body, possessed her. But he had taught her, shatteringly, the pleasure that a man and a woman could give to each other. There was one more night before they reached Maubourg. Would he come to her bed again, or would he take her literally and make last night the one and only?

  Theo had demolished his steak, and his third cup of coffee, and was watching her while she daydreamed. ‘What is it?’ she asked. He looked so right there in her bed, his chest bare, the sheet draped precariously, with unselfconscious provocation, over his hips.

  ‘Nell, won’t you think again about marrying me?’

  No! So he had not listened to a word she had said last night. Now he was going to be noble and honourable and want her to marry him. No wonder he had been so reluctant, he had known he would feel this the next morning.

  ‘No, Theo. Thank you, but no. I cannot marry without love, you see. I know it was wicked of me to want to experience this, but I did mean what I said last night—please do not make me feel bad by trying to do what you see as the honourable thing.’

  ‘Honour be damned,’ he retorted. ‘Nell, I love you—’

  ‘Yes, I know.’ She had to reassure him, the words tumbled out. ‘You couldn’t be a more loving friend and cousin. And I love you, just the same way.’ Lies, I love you in every way there is. ‘But you told me you would never marry, and I realise that must be because you love someone else, hopelessly—no, don’t interrupt—and I know it is sad because she doesn’t love you, but two wrongs don’t make a right. Given my feelings, it would be wrong for us to marry. Truly, I don’t think I could stand it,’ she added with as much conviction as she could muster.

  ‘I see. Thank you for being so clear about it.’ Theo put his plate down and threw back the sheet. Shy all of a sudden, Elinor looked away, keeping her eyes on the pile of hat and dress boxes while behind her she could hear Theo hunting through the strewn clothing for his breeches and shirt. ‘I’ll send the maid up with water and to help you to dress, shall I?’

  ‘Yes, please.’ How painfully polite they were being to each other. Last night, this morning, there was not an inch of each other’s body they had not caressed, kissed, explored. Now they would be discussing the weather in a minute.

  The road to Grenoble was long, Theo, reserved, and the horses, tired. The magic had gone out of the journey and Elinor knew she had only herself to blame for that. How could she have failed to anticipate the emotions that would be unleashed by intimacy of that kind? He had been so right, back at the chateau. She kept trying to understand desire intellectually and all the time it was far too complicated for that.

  Theo suggested that she must be tired and might prefer to travel inside where she could sleep. Elinor translated this, without much difficulty, as meaning that he wanted to be alone and could very well do without her company.

  She sat in the chaise surrounded by the pretty boxes full of Theo’s joyful purchases and felt very much like weeping. Which was not helpful, she decided, waiting in an inn while Theo had a local livery stables change the fittings and harness another pair to the carriage. She had got into this mess by thinking too much; now an excess of sensibility was no way to get out of it.

  The only thing to be done was to keep reminding herself that she was actually better off than she had been before Theo had come back into her life. She looked better, she felt more confident, she had had adventures and experiences and she had learned that risking letting herself feel led to both the expected disadvantages and to undreamed wonders.

  If she could just manage to school her awakened body into accepting that it had experienced quite enough sensuality and was now satisfied, she was certain she would soon feel very much better.

  The unexpected touch of Theo’s hand on hers made her flinch. As she got to her feet, he stood well back to give her room, and, instead of explaining that he had simply startled her, she found there was nothing she could say. Perhaps, she thought with sadness as she climbed into the carriage, there never would be again.

  That night Theo had professed himself tired from so much driving and had retired with the brandy after an hour of very stilted dinner conversation, leaving her to the dubious pleasures of Petrarch and the private parlour with a view of rain-soaked rooftops. Even the glorious August weather had deserted them, making the last ten miles a miserable drag along muddy roads.

  Elinor shut her book with a snap, rang the bell for a glass of red wine, wrapped her shawl tight around her shoulders, put her feet up on the fender and gave her future some serious thought. It would not hold Theo, she knew that, but she was beginning to wonder whether it would bear any relation to her life with her mother so far either.

  There was nothing she did for Mama that a competent secretary who could draw could not do. She had her own money—not that she ever touched it or questioned the decisions of her trustees. Well, that would have to change if she was going to stop simply existing and start living.

  She could afford her own companion, could afford to travel. Elinor stretched out a hand for her notebook and began to scribble.

  Half an hour later the wine was untouched at her side and she had filled a page with tightly packed notes headed, How Much Money Do I Have? and finishing, ITALY!

  She read it through slowly, stretched out a hand for the glass and fought down the rising knot of apprehension. Yes, she could do it. One tear rolled down the side of her nose and she scrubbed it away with an impatient hand. She was going to be lonely, but she rather thought she had been lonely since she was a child. Now she was going to be lonely on her own terms and in that, surely, there must be some happiness. It was just a pity it had taken her heart being broken to make her realise it.

  Theo came down to breakfast dressed in cream pantaloons, shining Hessians with gold tassels, brand new linen and a coat of immaculate dark blue superfine.

  ‘You are never going to drive dressed like that, surely?’ Elinor asked, putting down the coffee pot. She had put on her new carriage dress in heavy Lyon silk, taken a good deal of trouble over her hair, and had chosen a pair of exquisite kid gloves in honour of her first appearance at the Maubourg court.

  The words had escaped before she had given any thought to the fact that things must still be somewhat constrained between them, but Theo shrugged amiably enough. ‘I’ve hired a groom to drive. I did not think my arrival looking like the driver of the London-to-Brighton stage would add to our consequence. We might be relatives, but we’ve got to get in the front door first.’ He accepted the coffee she passed him—strong, black, one sugar, just as he liked it—and added, ‘You look very fine.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Elinor scrabbled around mentally for things to talk about, then realised they were going to have all day shut up in the carriage together and stilted conversation was not going to be enough. ‘I don’t suppose you have a travelling chess set on you?’

  ‘No, but I can buy some cards from the waiter. Do you play whist?
No? Let me teach you, then when we get to Maubourg Sebastian can teach you how to be a sharper.’

  ‘Sebastian? Is he really? From his days as Jack Ryder, do you mean? I wish he would talk about his adventures as a King’s Messenger, but he is desperately discreet.’

  ‘Rather more than a King’s Messenger,’ Theo remarked, slicing ham thickly. ‘And still is, from time to time, when the government needs him. Although don’t, for goodness sake, repeat that.’

  ‘And Eva knows?’

  ‘Apparently she says that so long as it doesn’t involve beautiful young women, he must do as he sees fit.’

  ‘What would she say about the marquesa?’ Elinor stole one of Theo’s slices of ham, beginning to relax a little.

  ‘Ana? Eva has more sense than to fret about Sebastian’s past—after all, her first husband was one of the most notorious rakes in Europe. But I would not fancy any woman’s chances of escaping with a whole skin if they decided to set their caps at Sebastian now.’

  Elinor envied the Grand Duchess her strength and her certainty. If she could be like that, then an independent life would be easy to achieve. And then she remembered Eva’s confidences about her nightmares, recalled seeing the way she looked at Sebastian when she thought she was unobserved—perhaps Eva was not so self-assured. Perhaps it was a matter of application and holding one’s nerve after all. They would be in the castle of Maubourg tonight and she would talk to her cousin by marriage, ask her advice. Not about Theo, of course—she was certain that she could never speak about what had happened to a living soul—but about making a break from her past and becoming independent. Eva would understand.

  Chapter Twenty

  It was past seven in the evening when the rumble of the carriage wheels over cobbles woke Elinor. She had been dozing in the corner of the carriage for an hour, worn out by a day struggling with the rules of whist and Theo’s ruthless acquisition of a vast, if imaginary, fortune from her. Her lost wealth was represented by the litter of vowels on the carriage floor.

  ‘Wake up.’ Theo reached out and shook her arm, gently. The first time he had voluntarily touched her, she realised, since he had left her bed. ‘Put on your hat, we are almost there. Here.’ He held out her pelisse and helped her into it For a moment his fingertips brushed along the nape of her neck, then he was sitting back in his corner, gazing out of the window, leaving her to button up the garment and twitch her skirts into order as though nothing was amiss and her breath had not hitched in her throat with the shock of his touch.

  The light still lingered in the sloping square before the wide sweep of steps. At the top the massive double doors, studded with knots of medieval ironwork and with a dragon’s-head knocker in the centre, frowned down at them. The shadows from the tall houses were long and Elinor shivered as she stepped down into shade, suddenly a prey to doubts. ‘Is it going to be all right, just turning up like this?’ she whispered, as Theo turned from giving the driver instructions and came to take her arm.

  ‘Yes, of course. This is Eva and Sebastian, don’t forget.’ He walked across the cobbles, ignoring the curious stares of passers-by.

  ‘Yes, but I don’t know Eva at all well, not really,’ she worried. There was an imposing pair of guards in full silver-and-blue uniforms with plumes in their helmets and pikes in their hands at the foot of the steps and another pair at the top. As Elinor and Theo approached, the pikes clashed together in an unmistakable signal to stop.

  Theo kept going, arrived at the foot of the steps and addressed the right-hand guard in French. ‘Mr and Miss Ravenhurst to see Her Serene Highness and Lord Sebastian Ravenhurst.’

  One of the top pair of guards pulled a large metal knob, producing a sonorous clanging from inside. Elinor, her still-sleepy brain conjuring up scenes from Gothic novels, stifled a nervous giggle. A wicket gate opened, words were exchanged with someone unseen inside, then both doors were thrown wide, the guards saluted smartly and they were climbing the steps to be met by a tail-coated major domo with a long staff in his hands and a footman on either side.

  ‘This is very formal,’ Elinor hissed in Theo’s ear. ‘But they seem to accept who we are.’

  ‘Mr Ravenhurst, welcome to Maubourg. Their Serene Highnesses will be delighted at this unexpected pleasure. Madame.’

  ‘Monsieur Heribaut, it is a pleasure to see you again.’ So they knew him; she should have guessed. ‘This is Miss Ravenhurst, Lord Sebastian’s cousin. I regret, but there has been an incident that has forced us to seek the hospitality of the Grand Duke without notice. Elinor, this is Monsieur Heribaut, the Chamberlain of the castle.’

  ‘If you would care to come in sir, madame, I will—’

  ‘Papa, please let me hold him!’ The Chamberlain swung round as a boy walked backwards into the great hall talking to the man who followed him. ‘I won’t drop him, I promise, Mama said—’

  The man, tall, broad shouldered, elegant in black evening dress was, Elinor realised, her cousin Sebastian, holding a very small baby against his shoulder and patting it on the back. Her mouth dropped open—this was not at all how she would expect to see him. The boy stopped walking and began hopping up and down on the spot, allowing a small flock of what Elinor assumed were nursery maids to catch up and hover anxiously behind them. ‘Papa…’

  ‘Your Serene Highness, Lord Sebastian.’ The Chamberlain managed to cut through the chatter of the women and the boy’s wheedling voice without raising his own. ‘Mr and Miss Ravenhurst.’

  Elinor, who was always rather in awe of her magnificent cousin Sebastian, swallowed as he turned. Then he grinned and strode over, an incongruous figure with his exquisite clothes and the baby, which had begin to dribble, she noticed, clasped to his shoulder.

  ‘Theo! My dear cousin. And…’ he stopped and stared down at her ‘…Elinor?’

  ‘Yes, that’s Elinor,’ Theo said cheerfully, holding out his hands and receiving the baby with an easy competence that almost struck her speechless. ‘We’re on the run and need sanctuary and a good strongroom. Is this the latest Ravenhurst, then?’

  ‘This is Charles James Oliver Ryder Ravenhurst,’ announced the Grand Duke, aged ten, ducking under his stepfather’s elbow and thrusting out a hand. ‘He’s two weeks old and has no hair yet. Welcome to Maubourg Miss Ravenhurst. Sir.’

  ‘Your Serene Highness.’ Elinor took his hand and produced her best court curtsy.

  ‘Freddie,’ the Grand Duke said, grinning. ‘We’re sort of cousins, aren’t we, if you’re a Ravenhurst?’

  ‘My goodness, Theo and Elinor.’ The lightly accented, richly feminine voice cut through Theo simultaneously talking to the baby and Sebastian and Elinor trying to explain to Freddie how she was related to his stepfather. The Grand Duchess, in full evening dress, sailed down the hall, her hands held out to them. ‘My dears, how lovely. Are you eloping?’

  ‘We most certainly are not,’ Elinor began hotly.

  ‘We are trying to give the appearance of doing so,’ Theo said. ‘Eva, you grow more beautiful every time I see you and your new son is utterly charming.’

  ‘He is, isn’t he?’ she said smugly. ‘I do think it was clever of us. Now Freddie, you take Charles very carefully and carry him up to the nursery and have your dinner.’

  ‘But, Mama, you said I could eat with you—’

  ‘We need to have a business dinner, Freddie. Papa’s business, hmm?’

  ‘I see. Secret stuff,’ Fréderic said with a grin. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow then, Cousin Elinor.’

  Elinor was not quite sure how Eva did it, but in two crowded minutes the baby and its attendants had been despatched to the nursery, a message had gone down to the kitchens to delay dinner, the Chamberlain was organising rooms and Sebastian’s valet had materialised and was sponging dribble off his coat.

  ‘Come along.’ Eva tucked one hand under Elinor’s arm. ‘Come up to my rooms and have a wash and then we can eat while they take up your luggage.’

  ‘I’m so sorry, arriving like this,�
� Elinor tried to apologise as they climbed the stairs.

  ‘I am delighted. Now tell me, how did you come to look so lovely? You were such a little brown mouse whenever I saw you before. Except for the hair, of course.’

  ‘It was Theo.’

  ‘Oho!’ Eva’s chuckle was enough to make Elinor blush to her toes.

  ‘No! I mean he nagged me into buying new clothes and doing my hair differently. And we’ve been having adventures recently, which seems to have improved my complexion. Or something,’ she added doubtfully, not at all sure herself why these days she seemed to be glowing. Unless Jeanie was right and love did that to you.

  ‘But you are going to marry him?’ Eva swept into the room, startling a middle-aged woman who was folding clothes on the bed. ‘Hortense, this is Miss Ravenhurst, Lord Sebastian’s cousin. She will be staying and requires a maid. Now she needs hot water, if you please.’ The dresser bobbed a curtsy and hurried out. ‘Do you want to change? Don’t feel you have to, it is only us tonight.’

  ‘Thank you, if it is all right, I’ll just wash my hands and face.’ Elinor sat down with a thump on the dressing-table stool. ‘Eva, I am not marrying Theo.’

  ‘No? But you are compromised, are you not?’ Eva picked up a comb. ‘You have been travelling with him. Here, let me take your hat, your back hair is coming down.’

  ‘Yes, but Mama knows about it and I do not have to. I mean, I am still—’ Goodness, but this was embarrassing.

  ‘A virgin? Not such a rake as he likes to make out then, our Theo. But you are blushing like a rose! Only just a virgin, perhaps? So, he is a very careful rake.’ She was teasing, but gently, and her smile was warm.

  ‘Eva! We’ll tell you all about it at dinner. No, I do not mean that,’ she added repressively as the Grand Duchess’s smile became positively wicked. ‘I would like to talk to you later, though, just the two of us,’ she added, suddenly shy now the urgency of assuring Eva that she did not have to marry had ebbed away, but realising she did need a woman to confide in. ‘And, please, do not tease Theo about me, he keeps having attacks of being all honourable and noble and saying we should get married and he obviously doesn’t want to. Nor do I, naturally.’