His Housekeeper's Christmas Wish Page 16

  After she had washed and undressed, the maid helped her into her nightgown and robe and then proceeded to let down her hair and brush it. ‘One hundred times, Miss Ellery?’

  ‘Yes, thank you.’ It would give her time to gather her courage. There were bottles of scented waters on the dressing table and she sniffed each in turn and wondered whether to dab something more exotic than her usual lavender water behind her ears. No, it was the unsophisticated Tess whom Alex seemed to want, not some elegant lady. It was going to be nerve-racking enough without pretending to be anything but what she was.

  The first thing was to find Alex’s bedchamber, otherwise she would be wandering about blind and, knowing her luck, would probably end up in the earl’s room. ‘This is such a large house,’ she remarked. ‘I have never been in one so extensive. I suppose all the family rooms are clustered in the middle for convenience and the guest rooms out in these wings.’

  ‘Oh, no, miss, they are all spread out. Lord Moreland has his suite in the West Wing, her ladyship and Lady Maria are in the central block and Mr Matthew prefers the tower rooms. Lord Weybourn has the suite with the park view, just at the other end of this wing.’

  Hardly a close and loving family, Tess mused as she made conversation about the lovely views from all aspects. But it was wonderfully convenient for her. She had been quailing at the thought of tiptoeing through the silent corridors, no doubt patrolled by attentive servants, but now she knew exactly where she was going.

  The maid tucked her up in bed, moved the Argand reading lamp to the most convenient side and tried Tess’s patience to screaming point by enquiring if Miss Ellery required some hot milk? Or some biscuits? More blankets, perhaps?

  Alone at last Tess lay still, listening to the clock ticking. Finally it struck the half hour. Past midnight. Surely everyone would be in bed by now? Alex always sent Byfleet off once he had changed for dinner, apparently preferring the solitude to having someone help him out of his evening clothes, so there was not even that to worry about.

  When she opened the door all was quiet, the corridor dimly lit by a shielded lamp on a table. Tess walked rapidly, her bare feet silent on the polished boards. She found the door, eased it open and tiptoed into a dressing room. It was unoccupied and she stood listening, inhaling the faint aroma of Alex’s cologne. When she plucked up the courage to try the door the bedchamber was deserted, also. She crossed to the far side and found a sitting room, equally empty.

  Where was Alex? Surely not still in the library? The room was lit by three Argand lamps, the fire was banked up behind a guard and decanters were ranged on a dresser, so he was obviously expected to be sleeping there. Tess unfastened her robe and folded it on to a chair, climbed into the bed and sat there, prey to nerves. Should she take of her nightgown, as well? That seemed very bold, but then, being here in the first place was so shocking that nudity could hardly make things worse. Besides, it was hardly a very seductive garment—always assuming Alex would need seducing. Tess wriggled out of it and got back under the covers. She had never slept naked before.

  The clock struck one. It felt very…gauche, sitting there bolt upright, the sheets clutched under her chin. Tess lay down. She could try to relax, just close her eyes. He wouldn’t be much longer, surely?

  *

  She woke to the sound of someone moving around the room. Glass clinked against glass, someone sighed, as though weary, there were two thuds that she recognised as shoes being tossed aside. Alex.

  Tess eased herself up against the pillows and found he was standing with his back to her. He took off his coat, dropped it on a chair and began to untie his neckcloth one-handed while the other held a glass with a finger of dark liquid in it. He set down the glass, took off his waistcoat and then started to unfasten his evening breeches.

  I should say something. But her mouth was too dry. The breeches dropped to the floor and, thank heavens for maidenly nerves, the hem of his shirt dropped, too. Even so, even covered to mid-thigh, the sight of a pair of strong, muscled, hairy male legs was shocking. Exciting… I cannot sit here spying on him. Tess cleared her throat.

  Alex spun round. ‘What in Hades are you doing here?’

  He sounded both angry and confused, but there had been one moment, one blink of an eye, when his face had lit up with welcome, with pleasure. It gave her the courage she needed to speak. ‘I wanted to be with you. I need to be with you, Alex.’

  Now she could not read his face at all. Alex grabbed a robe from the end of the bed and dragged it on, yanked the sash tight. ‘If anyone discovers you are here, even if I come no closer than this, then you are ruined, Tess.’

  ‘Ruined for what, exactly? I am not some young miss about to embark on her Season, someone whose virtue and purity is as important as her bloodlines and her dowry. I am destined to earn my living, not to wed. Will knowing what it means to lie with a man make me any less able as a companion, any less competent as a teacher?’

  ‘No.’ Alex picked up his glass again, stared at it, then slammed it down.

  ‘I will not go from your bed to some den of vice to take part in wild orgies,’ she said. ‘I am not going to sell my body as a result. I know you desire me. I did not need you to tell me that in the library this evening. I desire you, too, and you know that, also.’

  ‘What if I get you with child?’

  ‘Then, you will provide for us, I imagine.’ She felt calmer as his vehemence grew. ‘I would never make any further claim on you and you are not betrothed, or even courting another woman, are you?’

  ‘Tess, desire is not enough reason to risk your reputation.’ Alex stood at the end of the bed, his hand on the post supporting the canopy. She knew him too well now to believe he was furious with her for being there, or that he wanted her to leave. But he was angry with himself for wanting her to stay, for wanting her at all: that she could believe.

  ‘No, it is not,’ she agreed, her fingers cramping on the edge of the sheet. ‘But the need for comfort is, the need to be with someone. Curiosity is, too. I am never going to marry, Alex. I am never going to find another man I trust as I trust you, one that I could risk an affair with. I would wish for memories to warm my future dreams and I think you would welcome some warmth now.’

  He was so still that time might have stopped if it were not for the tick of the clock, the crackle of the fire, the beat of her heart echoing the pulse she could see in his throat.

  ‘No,’ Alex said.

  She had one card left in her hand, and she had no idea whether it was an ace or worthless. It cost enough to hazard, so perhaps it had some value. Tess released the sheet, threw back the covers, slid from the bed and stood naked before a man for the first time in her life. She closed her eyes.

  ‘Tess.’

  Was that good or bad? She was no beauty, she knew that. She was skinny and her breasts were small and she knew men liked breasts. But her hair was down and perhaps that covered some of the sharp angles.

  ‘Tess.’ Right in front of her. She could smell him now, smell his warm skin, his familiar citrus cologne, the plain soap from the bath he must have taken before dinner. ‘Look at me.’

  She opened her eyes, knowing she must be one whole blush, not having any idea what to do with her hands. Alex was so close she could see his irises were dilated, so close she could hear his breathing, see his slightly parted lips.

  ‘I told you to run.’ His hands were on the knot of his sash.

  ‘I did. I ran here. I am a grown woman, Alex. I know what I want, what I need. Must I plead with you?’

  ‘No. Never that.’ He untied the knot at his waist, shrugged off the robe, pulled the shirt over his head and stood in front of her as naked as she was. Behind him the glow of the fire cast a nimbus of gold around his body. From in front the steady light from the little lamp threw sculpted muscles, long bones, taut tendons into sharp relief.

  He was beautiful. Her exploring, fascinated gaze moved lower, stopped. This, then, was what an aroused man looked like
. The fashion for tight evening breeches was revealing enough to demonstrate to even the most ignorant young woman that there was a difference between the man who had been at dinner that evening and the same man now. Magnificent. She managed not to say it aloud. There were other words—alarming, impossible—she did not say those, either.

  ‘Do I frighten you, Tess?’ His voice was husky with repressed emotion.

  ‘No. Another man would, I think. Never you. Tell me you want this, too, that you are not doing this because I asked you.’

  He laughed, a gasp of pure amusement. ‘Tess, I can’t feign this.’ His gesture was graphic enough not to need words. ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Nothing, except the most dire need, would have me standing in front of a man without a stitch of clothing on,’ she assured him. It is going to be all right. He wants me, I want him, we can be together, like this, for these few days.

  ‘You are smiling.’ So was he. ‘Come to bed, Tess, before you get cold.’

  Chapter Sixteen

  Such a prosaic thing, to scramble into bed, to feel the mattress dip under Alex’s heavier body, to see his big, capable hands pull up the covers.

  ‘I was quite nervous,’ she confided. ‘I still am. I have no idea what I am supposed to do.’ If she wasn’t careful she’d be chattering with nerves and that was the last thing he wanted, she imagined. Bad enough a gauche innocent; a wittering female would be even worse.

  ‘Then, spare a thought for the virgin male.’ He slid farther down the bed and pulled her with him to snuggle against his side. The slide of warm skin against skin was delicious. She itched to explore with her hands, but did not want to be clumsy.

  ‘You know the theory, or at least, you think you do,’ Alex said, his tone reminiscent. That was good, nothing was going to happen quite yet, not until she had her breath back. ‘But the fellows who impart these facts are probably boasting. You hope they are. And you’re the man, even if you are only fifteen and you haven’t grown into your feet yet and your body and its reactions are certainly not under your control. So you think you ought to know what you are doing, you are sure you have it all straight…and then you encounter the female body.’

  The hand that was curved around her ribs began to stroke, the fingers caressing slowly down the side of her breast. Alex continued speaking as though unaware of what his hand was doing. Tess kept very quiet and still in case he noticed and stopped.

  ‘So soft, so responsive and so…complicated. There are curves, you know that, you have ogled them secretly for long enough. But then you discover the weight of a breast in your palm.’

  He shifted, moved his arm and her small breast was lying cupped in his hand. ‘It is heavier than you imagine it will be and so unexpectedly erotic it takes your breath away. Then you discover this.’ His thumb moved, fretted back and forth across her nipple.

  Tess gasped as the sensation arrowed down into her belly and her flesh became hard under the pad of his thumb.

  ‘You see?’ Alex shifted again so that he was half over her, his weight on one elbow. ‘Not only does it feel good, not only are you rewarded by that little miracle of a reaction, but you discover you have given her pleasure, too. So you try the other breast, only this time you find yourself doing this.’ He bent and took her other nipple between his lips, his tongue rubbing against her tight flesh while his fingers continued to tease the other nub. ‘And you discover for the first time how good a woman tastes and you wonder if she tastes the same all over. You forgot to kiss her at first because you were so nervous and so clumsy in your eagerness.’

  He moved until his mouth was a fraction from hers. ‘So you taste her mouth.’

  Tess arched against him as their lips met. He squashed her breasts into his chest, squeezed the nipple he was still fondling tight between his fingers, which should have hurt, but strangely only made the deep ache inside better, and worse. His tongue was talking now, showing her how he would go about exploring her taste, sweeping over hers, teasing the inside of her cheeks, withdrawing to stroke along her lips. He nibbled at them until she began to shift under him, restless, aching, and he lifted his head.

  ‘You discover that her mouth tastes different from her skin. Delicious, uniquely her, but different. So you want to taste more and you go adventuring.’ He slid down, pausing to lick across her breasts in great, wet, sweeping strokes of his tongue that made her want to giggle and moan all at once. Then down to her belly. His tongue traced her hip bones, her bony hip bones, she thought in despair. It tickled impertinently into her navel, which did make her giggle.

  Alex shrugged off the bedcovers, which had tented over his head, and looked up, his face alive with the old familiar smile that she had despaired of seeing again. ‘And this is different again. But now you are getting impatient because you haven’t learned that restraint increases pleasure and you are still terrified that you are going to get this all wrong, so you start to shift, thinking about what has to go where and worrying that you aren’t the right size, or shape or…’

  ‘Or?’ She could still speak. Just. Something was happening to her body and whatever it was, she seemed to have no control over it at all.

  ‘Or…you don’t know, just that you are scared to death and in heaven, too. So she, this beautiful, generous, wise, woman gives you a nudge in the right direction. Put your hand on my head and push.’

  ‘Push?’ His head? Confused, she did as he asked.

  Alex slid down another foot or so, pressed her thighs apart and kissed her.

  Tess opened her mouth to scream, but all that emerged was a long, groaning purr of pure, wicked pleasure. His tongue foraged into the secret folds, his teeth nibbled, his lips sucked and kissed and… ‘Ooh!’

  Tess came to herself to find Alex lying on her, his weight on his elbows, his legs between her spread thighs. He lodged perfectly in the cradle her body made. ‘That was…’

  ‘Good, isn’t it?’ He grinned, obviously pleased for both of them.

  ‘I had no idea. I thought you just…’ She blushed. ‘Um, put it…’

  ‘We can do that next.’ He shifted his hips and something pressed against her. Alex frowned when she wriggled, eager. ‘It might not be so good, not the first time, I understand.’

  ‘Have you never made love to a virgin before?’ The pressure was more of an intrusion now, but this was Alex, she told herself, he would be as careful as he could be.

  ‘No, so this is a first time for both of us. I think…’ He nudged forward a little. ‘Yes, quick might be good.’

  ‘Ow!’ They both went still. Tess considered how she felt. ‘Go on.’

  So he did. Things went from tight and sore to tight and wonderful to a glorious confusion of sensation and movement. ‘Oh, Alex! Yes.’

  She felt him go tense, then pull away and then groan as he held her and she slipped into a haze of pleasure.

  *

  ‘Tess, sweetheart.’ A whisper in her ear, a hand gliding over her hip, then settling between her thighs.

  ‘Hmm.’ She wriggled against Alex’s fingers. ‘Again?’

  ‘No, wicked one. Time for you to go back to your own bed.’

  She sat up and found the beside lamp still burning and illuminating the very gratifying sight of one large naked man stretched out on the bed beside her. Alex even managed to look elegant with morning stubble and not a stitch of clothing. My lover. My love.

  He got up and bent to retrieve her nightgown, affording a magnificent view of taut buttocks and trim waist. ‘What?’ he enquired as he turned.

  ‘I was ogling you.’ Tess put on the nightgown. ‘You are a very pleasing shape.’

  To her delight colour slashed across his cheekbones as he reached for his robe, then made a business of finding hers. ‘No slippers?’

  ‘No, I was tiptoeing. Look at all those muscles.’ She reached for his arm and curled her fingers around his biceps as far as they would go. ‘I think I was seduced by your shoulders from that first evening.’

 
‘I was trying very hard to think of you as a nun,’ he confessed as he removed her hand from his arm and pulled her to her feet. ‘It was overly exciting to discover that nuns do not wear corsets.’

  ‘I do now.’ Tess tied the sash of her robe.

  ‘That can have its moments, too. Now hush.’

  He delivered her back to her door. As she closed it she heard a muffled sound as though a hand had been laid against the panels, then the soft pad of his footsteps.

  ‘I love you,’ she whispered. ‘Sleep well, Alex.’

  *

  Alex strolled along the corridor to the study, consciously slowing his pace to distance himself from the anxious scurry of the nervous youth he had been the last time he’d been ordered here.

  He had given up on sleep at the first faint sound of servants moving discreetly around the house. Before he had taken her back to her room he had dozed with Tess in his arms, too shaken by the experience to lose himself in unconsciousness. Besides, it was a new pleasure to lie like this with a lover and to watch over her, observe the flicker of her eyes beneath those fragile lids as she dreamed, the soft, parted lips, the way her hair lay like silk on his shoulder.

  She had been right; this had made them both happy. Now he had to make certain nothing went wrong for her. He was most certainly not going to allow her to go off to some employment agency in the new year and tie herself to some form of genteel drudgery. Somehow he had to persuade her to accept his support without her firing up and declaring it was payment for coming to his bed.

  Now, despite the lack of sleep, he felt alert and much calmer than he had last evening. More accepting of a fate he could not, in all honour, avoid, he supposed, although a desire to forgive still eluded him.